December 2009
1 post
FUCK!!!!!!
I can’t.
November 2009
2 posts
I can’t believe I’m in love with that comedian that talks about farting and masturbation.
I can’t believe he dumped me.
I am mute. I am deaf.. dumb… and blind. I am essentially… Useless.
I don’t even know if I have emotion or if I’m so deteriorated from the past… so jaded about the future and so pissed off about right now. Maybe all of my emotion has leaked out of my eyes and into a pool of aqua marine psuedo “I don’t give a FUCK” that is conveniently located at the...
October 2009
17 posts
Favorites:
Singing to each other until 2 in the morning.
Talking about murderin hobos for chocolate bars.
Loving the sound of you shaking your protein drink.
Whispering about how stoned you are.
Whaling.
The sound of your laughter.
When you tell me you love me and I feel it in my heart strings.
The fact that you’re still shaking your protein drink.
And then comparing my body to it…
This...
Puzzle Piece.
I dream of him every night. Seriously. Every night. I don’t know if I like it or not. I love that my subconscious wants him as close as I consciously do … but I miss him more when I wake up. It’s hard. Last night was a particularly great one. I dreamt that we were in a movie theater and we were watching the funniest movie ever, we were both laughing so hard. We laugh so perfectly...
Ugh!
Why does this have to be so hard. I’m tired of everything being hard. I want something happy. I want to be happy and I want it to be an easy happy. I just want to love and be loved. I don’t want any more ultimatums where both choices make me unhappy! FUCK MY LIFE!
I’m running away.
Today.
Today should be a day of moving on. Today should represent new beginnings and new faith. Today should be spent feeling refreshed and motivated yet thoughtful and reverent.
Today should be mine.
But it’s not….
Today is instead a day of mourning. Today represents sadness and longing. Today will be spent in a black hole of emotion.
Today is no ones.
I try to do what I think is...
Fuck you for making your standards so much lower for yourself than where you make them for me. Fuck you for expecting me not to care when I realize it. Fuck you for turning me into this horrible person in your head then treating me as such. Fuck you for wanting me to be as lonely and sad as you and getting mad at me when I’m not. Fuck you for expecting me to make changes that you’re...
Probs.
If Drew Carey was sitting next to me…
I’d probably say hi to him.
Horoscopes
Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19
You will put your best foot forward this morning, though you’ll stil have to drag the other frightening mass of flesh and bone behind it.
Taurus Apr 20 - May 20
After years of hesitation, you’ll finally come out of your shell this week, falling prey almost immediately to a swooping falcon attack.
Gemini May 21 - Jun 21
You shall drink from the fountain of...
Also I think that I have to go to my moms to do laundry today. I’m so not excited to do that. But it’s either face my retarded mom or go comando.
It’s not like it’s summer dress time anymore… Comando could be manueverable.
I decided that I want to paint. A lot.
All I wanted was you.
I could follow you to the beginning just to relive the start, and maybe then we’ll remember to slow down at all our favorite parts. ♥
Bright Eyes. Landlocked Blues. <3 it.
I'm a couch kid.
I think I gave my bed up. I have been sleeping on my couch for like a week now. Not exactly sure why but I think subconsciously my bed is lonely. I mean that I’m lonely in it not that my inanimate objects have feelings… though they may.
September 2009
11 posts
growing up...?
I wanted cereal so bad this morning… the good cereal. Like Cap’n Crunch.
..But since I’m a grown up I ate a boiled egg and avocado. Drank some orange juice with my vitamins….
Growing up is yucky. I just want cereal.
“I was walking down the street with a friend, and he said, “I hear...”
– Mitch Hedberg
I have a cyber stalker. And I love him.
….And he’s cute.
Eh.
I’m tired… But I need to be eternally external in order to exert existentialism.
Seriously?
I’m pretty sure my head is going to explode. Seriously. I’m pretty sure I won’t even have blood or brain jizz when it does. Just pent up word goo. My thought process and unspoken emotion will be splattered on the walls in a sticky, slimy, unadulterated FUCK ME!
Seriously.
Eventually
Hopefully.
Eventually I will learn that I can’t love you anymore like this. That we’ll never really be what we try to pretend we are every other month.
I think that with how many times you’ve told me that I should have come to this conclusion by now… I think I honestly came to it a long time ago. And quite possibly many times in between.
Believing it is the tricky...
